Someone said that to me today. The back of my chair had fallen out and I had blundered backwards. The entire room swiveled to gape at me, mouth-breathing maws wide open. In the process of encouraging them to return to their business and right myself an errant elbow knocked over a can of soda, prompting a string of obscenities to fly from me. The elder statesman quipped that I should watch my mouth. When I replied how massively irrelevant "proper" language is, the "try to keep it in perspective" comment was received.
Keep what in motherfucking perspective? The goddamn Buddhists have it right: this is all pain, all suffering. That is the nature of human existence. I tried Buddhism once, briefly. While the tenants seem phenomenally adroit at soothing a rampaging psyche, the lifestyle leaves little room for any sort of enjoyment.
I am so ungodly sick of trying to convince myself that any of this bullshit is worth a good goddamn. You can have it, assholes. Go get your shovels and cram some more shit into your over-stuffed mouths.
There is no meaning. And I'm the one they say is crazy.
Fuck off.
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