Pretty Girl Double Update! - Leslie Bibb & Morena Baccarin

Yes, them two are Alluring!  Hey Satan, you listening?  I'll sell my soul for one...

Pretty Girl 04.18.12 - Candace Bailey

She's yim-nist.  I like a the yim-nist.

Clip Joint (Better Than) 500

Corey Kluber

Yup, yup.  Clippers win, Clippers win.  Still we all have to come to terms with the fact that there is simply not the same level of talent at Columbus this season as there was when the club won back-to-back AAA National Championships in 2010 and 2011.  The Clips (8-5) are still playing good ball, but the offensive leader tonight was Matt Pagnozzi (.346) who delivered 2 hits and 2 RBI, including his first home run of the young season.  Russ Canzler (.191) had two hits as well and Cord Phelps (.316) singled in a run in the 9th to extend his hitting streak to 11 games, but that was about it.  Both Trevor Crowe (.405) and Lonnie Chisenhall (.345) took an 0-for-5.

Corey Kluber (3-0, 2.81) started and pitched very well for the third straight start.  Although Kluber (6 IP, 6 H, ER, BB, 7 K) is not in contention to take the upcoming spot start, he has certainly been the most consistent member of the Clippers rotation thus far.  Opponent are batting just .220 against Corey in 2012 as the righty has fanned 25 in 16 innings.  Once again, the bullpen was dominant.  CC Lee (2.57) and Chris Ray (2.45, 3 SV) combined for three shutout innings to preserve the lead and the victory.

By the way, with Asdrubal Cabrera on bereavement leave, the Indians have chosen to add Nick Hagadone in his absence.  The clock is ticking for Tony Sipp and Rafael Perez.

Tomorrow's game 2 against Indianapolis is a 1:05p tilt with Scottie Barnes (0-1, 4.09) on the mound.

Other Minor Points of Interest...

Akron
Jared Goedert (.385) just continues to hit.  He added a single and a double this evening and is primed to move back to AAA just as soon as a spot opens up.  Chun Chen (.278) has awoken as well.  With two more hits tonight, he is hitting .437 over his last four games.  Thomas Neal (.200), however, has yet to find his stroke.  A 1-for-2 game against Bowie finally raised his average to Mendoza, but he was also caught stealing and picked off.  Nick Weglarz (.133) has sat out back-to-back games.  Couple that with his poor performance (.321 OPS) and one must wonder if Wegz is, yet again, injured.

Carolina
One wonders how patient the organization can be with Tony Wolters (.111) before he is demoted.  Part of the concern is that Francisco Lindor is currently manning shortstop for Lake County, but you cannot leave Wolters, who took another o-fer tonight, in as confidence ebbs.  Jesus Aguilar (.361) is just fine, however.  He doubled and walked today.  Jake Lowey (.317) went 0-for-4 with a pair of K's.

Lake County
Things have not gone well of late in Eastlake.  The kids have dropped eight straight by a combined score of 59-31 and the last two games have produced a total of just 4 runs.  Tonight, Luigi Rodirguez (.333) saw his hit steak come to an end and Alex Lavisky (.256) saw his hitless streak extend to 8 AB's.  The aforementioned Lindor (.309) did single and walk.  Starter Elvis Araujo (0-3, 3.00) has been a hard luck loser all season including this evenings contest.  Araujo took his team through six (6 H, 2 BB, K) and left behind 3-2 only because of 2 unearned runs.  Oh yeah, LeVon Washington (.440) had an MRI on his hip yesterday, the same area that gave the former first rounder trouble last season.  Washington has not played since April 11th.

Also...

Fate certainly handed Bryce Harper (.245) the situation to ignite what has, so far, been quite a stagnant season.  After Syracuse fell behind 1-0 in the top of the 9th, Harper came to the dish with runners on second and third and two out in the bottom of the frame.  With the home fans on their feet, Bryce took a 1-2 pitch and lined it... directly into the second baseman's glove.  He is still looking for his first AAA home run.

Cheers.

Pretty Girl 04.17.12 - Carly Craig

Topless in Role Models, I will always remember her as Dorothy Gale.

Pretty Girl Double Update! - Debra Messing & Maria Menounos

Huh huh, they're nekkid.  Thank you, Allure.

Clip Joint Slip N' Slide

Trevor Crowe

Yeesh, so now there are no starters fighting for that spot start.  Kevin Slowey (1-2, 4.50) was unable to maintain the momentum that he had built in his first two outings as he was beat for 6 earned on 10 hits over 5 and 1/3 in Louisville tonight.  Add in 3 walks and Slowey put 13 guys on base.  Not good.  Nor was Jeremy Accardo (1.59), who delivered his first dog outing of the young season.  Accardo (0.2 IP, 2 H, ER, BB, K) entered with the bases loaded in the 6th and not only allowed all three of those runners to score, but let in one of his own and surrendered the lead.  Hector Ambriz (1.35) pitched two perfect innings to finish the game.

The offense was highlighted by the return of Matt LaPorta (.316), who produced a single and a walk.  Trevor Crowe (.469) and Lonnie Chisenhall (.380) both continued their hot hitting.  Crowe fell a homer short of the cycle and has 8 hits in his last 11 at-bats.  The Chiz Kid went 9-for-18 over the four game set with the Bats, complete with four doubles and 3 RBI.  Despite going just 1-for-5, Cord Phelps (.327) extended his hitting streak to 10 games.  He has hit in 11 of 12 games this season.

After a 6-1 start, the Clips have won just 1 of their last 5.  They move on to Indianapolis tomorrow at 7:05p.  Expect Corey Kluber (2-0, 3.60) to be on the bump.

Other Minor Points of Interest...

Akron
Not much from the offense.  Jared Goedert (.371) added two more hits and Chun Chen (.250) finally broke through, going 3-for-4 with a double.  Each scored a run.

Much more interesting was the work by the pitching staff.  Toru Murata (3.38) took the spot start and pitched well enough over 3 innings (4 H, 2 ER).  Then, Bryce Stowell (1-0) entered and fanned 7 over 3 innings.  He did allow his first two hits of the season and opponents can now claim to be hitting a robust .125.  Stowell has whiffed 11 in 5 frames.  After that came Cody Allen who K'ed a pair and allowed a hit in his own two clean innings.  Across two levels, Allen has stymied the other team to the tune of an .077 clip and 12 punch outs in 8 innings.  Neither man has been scored on in 2012.

Carolina
Stop the presses!  Tony Wolters (.122) got a hit.  Jesus Aguilar (.353) did as well, but that's not as exciting.  Jake Lowery (.351) did not, but he did draw a walk.  On the hill, Danny Salazar (0-2, 7.04) took the loss.  Salazar (4 IP, 4 H, 3 ER, 2 BB, 2 K) is the guy on the 40-man of whom you've never heard.

Lake County
It was not a great offensive night for the Captains, but Luigi Rodriguez (.357) did extend his hit streak to 8 games.  Felix Sterling started, but did not figure in the decision.  Sterling pitched well over six innings (2 H, 2 ER, 3 BB, 4 K) and has certainly delivered thus far.  The 19 year old has held the opposition to a .148 average (that's 8 total hits allowed in 3 starts) and has punched out 14 in 16 innings.  Also, Francisco Lindor (.308) singled and swiped his 4th bag.

Cheers

P.s. Did you know that there's a Clay Rapada AND a Clay Zavada?  Both are left handed relievers.

Pretty Girl 04.15.12 - Angela Sarafyan

You'll want to see A Good Old Fashioned Orgy (it's a comedy, not a porno), if for no other reason, just to watch her take her top off.

A Quest Called Tribe

Well, it's certainly difficult to complain about yesterday's 13-7 victory that brings the Tribe to .500 (4-4) for the first time this season, but I'm going to do it anyway.  We'll begin with Ubaldo Jimenez.  Yesterday I had the opportunity to initiate another into the cult of "Chris Antonetti is an idiot."  I got to explain how the Tribe traded the farm to acquire Ubaldo (1-0, 4.50) last summer.  I had the pleasure of pointing out that it was the sort of trade that needs to return a sure thing.  Given the skilled players that the Indians shipped to the Rockies, Ubaldo should be going out and mowing down hitters like a well manicured lawn.  Sadly, he is not.  During his 2011 struggles, we heard that his delivery would be rebuilt in the off-season to facilitate better repeatability.  If that was actually attempted, it certainly has no been successful.  Yesterday, despite 10 Indians runs over the first 5 innings, Jimenez barely qualified for the victory after tossing 112 pitches over 5 innings.  He allowed 9 hits and walked 3.   His first start was brilliant, but if you cannot trust your #1b starter to go out and shut down the Royals, you're gonna have some problems.

Next, it may be Rafael Perez (7.36) who crumbles before Tony Sipp (13.50).  Neither has been at all reliable thus far in 2012.  Raffy was inserted to begin the sixth, walked Alex Gordon, balked him to second and watched him score on a Billy Butler single.  Not the sort of performance that inspires confidence in your teammates.  Sipp bounced back with a clean inning, but who knows what he will bring in his next outing.

Honsetly, outside of the starting pitching and the bullpen, it was an awesome game to watch.  A lot of those batting averages (Hafner - .292, Cabrera - .282, Duncan .320) are looking a lot better.  Others (Kipnis - .179, Kotchman - .219) remain low, but their owners showed excellent power in the series.  Speaking of power, Pronk's 5th inning solo home run distance has been adjusted from an original estimate of 456 feet to a whopping 481 feet.  That is the longest blast in Kauffman Stadium history, erasing Bo Jackson's 475 footer of 1986.

Also in the record books - 32 runs in 3 game series.  That is the total that the Tribe put up against KC.  It is also the largest number that they have ever aggregated in the first three road games of the season and the most in any 3 game series since an April 2000 set against Tampa Bay.  The series also did wonders for the Indians' overall offensive numbers.  The team batting average is all the way up .238 and, while that still ranks 11th in the AL, the team OPS is now .779, good for third in the league.  Part of that is the power.  Their 15 home runs lead the junior circuit and the team has gone yard in each of the first 8 games.  Don't forget the walks, though.  The Tribe draw 44 bases on balls in eight games (5.5 per) which is also third and pretty much mitigates the 58 strikeouts.  Oh yeah, their 52 runs scored is 2nd.

Enough for now.  If I'm sufficiently aware later on, we'll dig into some statistics on Josh Tomlin and Travis Hafner.

Cheers.

P.s. Is it any wonder that KC demoted Jarrod Dyson after his play over the first two games of the series?

Old Kentucky Clip Joint

After their quick start, the Clippers have settled in six game win one/ lose one funk.  Such was the case with Saturday and Sunday games in Louisville.  On Saturday, Chris Seddon (1-0, 5.59) pitched well enough to win (5.2 IP, 4 H, 3 ER, 2 BB, 5 K) and did, despite surrendering a pair of home runs.  More importantly, Nick Hagadone continued his sublime start.  Following another 1 and 1/3 scoreless innings, the opposition had raised its batting average to a dazzling .125.  After 5.1 innings in 2012, Hagadone has still issued just one walk.  Tony Sipp be very afraid.  Sunday was less heartening as Zach McAllister (0-1, 4.00) got knocked around for 5 earned on 9 hits over 6 innings (BB, 3 K).  With a Jeanmar Gomez suspension likely coming down from Bud Selig's mount on high, Z-Mac has certainly not positioned himself for that spot start.  Frank Herrmann (3.00) and Chris Ray (3.00) finished off the game with a scoreless inning apiece.

At the plate, Cord Phelps (5 H, 2B, 2 RBI, .340), Lonnie Chisenhall (3 H, RBI, 2 R, .333), Trevor Crowe (5 H, 2 2B, 2 BB, .429) and Beau Mills (HR, 2 RBI, .278) supplied the offense.  Matt LaPorta (.314, 4 HR) saw action in neither game, while Ryan Spilborghs (.167) continued to struggle.

The Clippers close out their series with the Bats tonight @ 6:35p with Kevin Slowey (1-1, 2.45, the guy who is in line for that spot start) ready to take the hill.

Other Minor Points of Interest...

Akron
Jared Goedert (.355) launched a pinch 3-run homer on Saturday and followed it up with 2 hits on Sunday.  Do not give up on this guy.  Chun Chen (.179) had 2 hits on Saturday but fanned 3 times over the two games and has whiffed 12 times in 8 games so far.  Nick Weglarz (.133) has conituned to flounder as well with 13 Ks and just 4 hits on the season.  Giovanni Soto (1-0, 5.00) was unable to follow up a strong first start with another, allowing 4 earned on 7 hits over 4 innings on Saturday.  Gio has K'ed 11 in 9 innings in 2012.  Keep an eye on Rob Bryson (1.69), the oft-injured last piece of the CC Sabathia trade.  Always a big strike out guy, Bryson has punched out 10 in 5 and 1/3 this year, while holding the opposition to .118 average.

Carolina
Tony Wolters' abysmal start sunk even lower over the weekend.  An 0-for-8 skid dropped has dropped the prospect's average to a horrific .108.  Jake Lowery (.382), on the other hand, added four hits and a walk to raise his OPS to 1.006. 

Lake County
If you can belive it, the Captains lost to Bowling Green yesterday, 22-12, with the Hot Rods scoring 11 times in the top of the 9th inning.  Somehow right hander Kyle Blair (20.86 ERA) was left in to allow 13 of those runs!  At least the offense continued to chug along.  Luigi Rodriguez (.368) rapped 3 hits, drew 2 walks and drove in a pair.  Alex Lavisky (.323) spanked hit first home run and drove in 2 to raise his team leading total to 10.  The only hold out was Francisco Lindor (.313), who took an 0-for-5 collar, but still drove in a run and drew a walk.  LeVon Washington (.440) sat out for the 2nd straight game.

Also...

Friend of the blog Tyler Tufts is off to a fast start for the Round Rock Express of the Texas Rangers system.  Seeing AAA action for the first time, Ty has two wins in his first 3 appearances and has posted a 1.35 ERA.

Uber-prospect Bryce Harper has struggled to find his own footing at AAA.  The 19 year old is off to a .220 start over his first 10 games for the Syracuse Chiefs.  Harper has yet to homer, has driven in just 1 run and has limped to a .597 OPS.

Indians righty Jason Knapp (the oft-injured last piece of the Cliff Lee trade) has yet to throw yet this season.  Still rehabbing from his second shoulder surgery, many are scared that he will never stay healthy enough to make the bigs.

Cheers.

MVotD - Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know

No, I don't think that because 159 million people saw this video before me indicates that I'm "out of touch."

Flick to Click: Looper

Opens 09.28.12 (Ugh, that's so long from now...)

Pretty Girl 04.15.12 - Kristen Wiig

So, like, is it possible that Kristen Wiig is hot?  Cuz then I'm gonna reevaluate literally everything that I have ever considered true.  The Yankees still suck, right?

A Quest Called Tribe

What a shame.  On a day when the a new vigor and strength poured from the Indians like so much strawberry wine, I would have liked to pound out a purely positive piece.  I know the bullpen had to pick up the reigns in the 3rd inning after Jeanmar Gomez's ejection, but it was the 6th by the time Josh Tomlin finished fanning the flames.  Last season, handing the bullpen a three run lead was tantamount to etching the tic mark in the win column.  Tony Sipp is a mess, just a god awful mess (19.29 ERA, 3.43 WHIP, .462 OBA).  For a guy who had a poor spring and has all three options remaining, he is certainly not pitching like someone who wants to keep his job.  As has been mentioned countless times before, Nick Hagadone is ready for the big time.  With such a bevy of left handed pitching stockpiled, the Tribe could have easily moved Sipp (or Raffy Perez, whichever) in the off-season for the quality prospect that is so conspicuously missing for the AA level.  It's not just Sipp either, the entire 'pen has been sloppy.  Despite avoiding their third loss tonight, the aggregate ERA is a ridiculous 6.48.  I understand the concept that it is difficult to rely on individual relievers to consistently produce quality season after season, but the whole staff at once?  This is a nightmare.

Someone commented to me that he appreciated the new "angry Tribe attitude."  You want some leadership?  Captain Jack's got your leadership all the way to the clubhouse.  I agree that it is heartening to see fire in the bellies of a team that had seemed resigned to its role as a mid-market kick-dog (and in spite of woManny Acta, get it woman-Manny), that sort of chip doesn't do any good to shoulders that cannot carry a seven run lead.  

Also, I am concerned about Josh Tomlin.  I saw a comparison to Jeremy Sowers (who has, apparently and quite quietly, retired) earlier in the spring, noting that we have seen how quickly a soft tosser can circle down the drain.  Jamie Moyer notwithstanding, I can see the point.  Even so, Tomlin is running into trouble because he, quite simply, is not hitting his spots.  For a man to whom control is absolutely paramount, he has left far too many pitches in the prime hitting zone.  I'll pick this up again tomorrow when I can see some statistical breakdowns.

All of that being said, thank god for Jarrod Dyson.  I am seriously confused as to how this kid is a Major Leaguer.  It was bad enough for him after the Kipnis ball yesterday and the Brantley triple in today's 3rd.  Then the kid gets caught stealing in the bottom of the 9th on a helluva throw by Carlos Santana.  When Choo got that ball up in the air to center in the 10th, I said aloud "There's no way Dyson's catching this."  True to form, the guy ran dead out, got leather on the ball and nearly broke his face as the ball rattled back onto the outfield grass.  No disrespect brother, but thank you, thank you so much.  This one would have hurt. 

Cheers.

P.s. Jack can't get kicked out anymore (espceially with Jose Lopez at DH), because Jason Donald CANNOT play third.

Oh, yeah.  Break your brooms.

Pretty Girl Update! - Kaley Cuoco

Um, Kaley, if you're gonna do Playboy, then maybe you should take your clothes off.  OK?

Clip Joint Bluegrass

The Clippers (6-3) headed south yesterday to begin a weekend set with the Louisville Bats and came  up on the short end of a 4-2 final.  Despite outhitting Louisville 9 to 5, the Clips pitchers issued 6 walks in the first six innings and the Bats bats took full advantage.  Scott Barnes (4.09) started and looked good (5 IP, 4 H, 4 ER, 4 BB, 6 K) except for his control.  Hector Ambriz (1.93) further fueled the fire with two walk of his own before CC Lee (1.1 IP, H, 2 K, 3.38) was able to close the sixth inning.  Jeremy Accardo, yet to be scored on (and a helluva nice guy, met him the other day) pitched a perfect 8th, fanning one.

At the dish there was very little to write home about.  Chad Huffman (.375) continued his hot hitting with a pair of doubles and one of the two RBI.  Lonnie Chisenhall (.333) added a pair of singles, but more pertinent is the injury to Matt LaPorta (.314).  While the fastball that bruised Matty's right hand in the 5th did not break any bones, it remains to be seen just how it will affect his ability to handle the bat going forward.

Also on the injury front, both Luke Carlin (.357) and Andy LaRoche (.200) are headed to the DL with Michel Hernandez and Justin Toole replacing them on the active roster.

The Clipper ship docks in Louisville again tonight with lanky right hander Chris Seddon (0-0, 6.75) getting the 6:05p start.

Other Minor Points of Interest...

Akron
Although Jared Goedert (.308) and Nick Weglarz (.136) each had two hits for the Aeros last night, the similarities past that are few.   Both have shown little power, but Goedert has practiced excellent plate discipline (6 BB/5 K) to produce an .822 OPS, while Wegz has struggled (2 BB/ 11 K) and has posted an abysmal OPS of .345.

Steven Wright (1.59) and his ever improving knuckler got their second start and Trenton failed to meet the challenge.  Wright stymied the Thunder over 5 and 2/3 (2 H, ER, 4 BB), while punching out 7.  The opposition is hitting just .132 against Wright thus far.  Japanese import Toru Murata threw 1.1 innings of clean relief and has yet to be scored upon this season.  Cody Allen, just promoted from A+ Carolina, tossed the last two innings perfectly for his first career save.  The 2011 23rd round pick is blazing through the system and even made a couple of appearances with the big club during spring camp.  So far in 2012, opponents are hitting .053 off of Allen over 6 innings in which he has fanned 10 and walked none.

Carolina
While power prospect Jesus Aguilar (.407) is having no problems adjusting to the Carolina League, top infielder Tony Wolters (.138) is finding the slope a bit more slippery.  Aguilar has supplemented his first home run with a trio of doubles and has matched his strikeouts and walks at 3.  His OPS is a stunning 1.096.  Wolters, having fully skipped over low A Lake County, is just 4 for his first 29 with 10 Ks.  The same transition has yet to limit catcher Jake Lowery (.346).  He has produced a .952 OPS and 6 RBI in the season's first week.

Lake County
The Captains are the most talented of any affiliate this season and all of the boys are hitting in the early going.  LC played a afternooner today and the top two in the lineup certainly came to play.  Luigi Rodriguez (.324) doubled and tripled en route to scoring a pair of runs, while top prospect Francisco Lindor (.349) singled 3 times, scored one and drove one home.  Despite taking an 0-for-5 collar, Alex Lavisky (.308) still leads the club with 8 RBI.  All of this without LeVon Washington (.440), who got the day off.

Whew.  I kinda feel caught up now.  Watch out for A Quest Called Tribe, going live later this week.

Pretty Girl 04.14.12 - Rachael Harris

She's a bit of an acquired taste, I know, especially if you're used to her astringent character from the Hangover flicks.  If you need something to seal the deal, check her out in the Archer episode "Movie Star."  (She's the movie star.)

A Quest Called Tribe

In stark contrast to this time last season, there seems to be little reason to celebrate an Indians' victory.  Despite the fact that the Tribe exploded for 7 first inning runs (with Michael Brantley collecting twice as many hits in single frame as he had accumulated thus far in the season), despite the fact that Derek Lowe is 2-0 with 1.98 ERA, even despite the fact that Captain Jack Hannahan is batting .316 with a team leading 5 RBI; the team looks destined for worse than the mediocrity of status quo, they seem on a collision course with petulant failure. 

Am I pleased that Shelly Duncan's excuse me check swing kept the first alive or that the combination of the KC jet stream and Jarrod Dyson's poor route to the ball translated into a triple for Jason Kipnis?  Hell yeah I am.  Does every Indians' win flow through me like a breath of oxygen to a drowning man?  Of course.  Regardless, the team is floundering and sorely lacking in any direction.

With the Clippers once again playing well, begged is the question - what does it mean to have a hapless Major League team with a dominant subordinate at AAA?  It means this my friends: the organization is populated by marginal players.  Like it or not, we are the team that will have an All-Star only because we must.

Somewhere Ken Harvey is smiling.  It's good to play the Royals.  Heck, the Tribe's O is almost to Mendoza!

Cheers.

Pretty Girl Update! - Ashley Tisdale

I guess Ash finally got my numerous memorandums suggesting she pose lewdly in a great state of undress.  Awesome.

A Quest Called Tribe

Thinking of splitting the baseball coverage away from the rest of my nonsense.  Who digs the banner?

Cheers.

Flick to Click: Safety Not Guaranteed

Opens 06.12.12

Pretty Girl 04.13.12 - Michelle Pierce

Currently the very definition of "she's too cute for you" on NCIS, she was also in Transformers.  Who knew?

MVotD - Johnny Cash - Hurt

Prior to yesterday, I had never seen the video, which means that I have likely not yet posted it.  One of my top 5 songs of all-time.  To thine self be true...

Cheers.

It's Official... Indians Sign Johnny Damon

The deal is 1yr, $1.25mil with another $1.4mil worth of incentives.  In perhaps the oddest contract clause that I have ever encountered, Damon can opt out of the deal when if Grady Sizemore returns.  Supposedly the Commissioner's office has to approve that bit, but no one anticipates a problem.  A bigger issue is likely Johnny ability to play the outfield every day.  Over the past two seasons (2010 with Detroit and 2011 with Tampa) he has racked up just 52 games on the lawn.  Always an above average defender, in spite of arm that envies that of an amputee, Damon put up a 25 rTot/yr in left last season and a -2 in 2010.  We all know what Johnny looks like, so here's a quick pic of his wife.  ;-j

Pretty Girl Special Report! - Jessica Dorrell

This is the chick that Bobby Petrino got fired from his $3.5mil/yr coaching job for.  Eh, she's alright.